Do I have ADHD? Steps to take before self-diagnosing
Sydni Rubio
July 10, 2024
With the rise of ADHD awareness on social media, many people (like you!) find themselves questioning whether they might have ADHD.
Don't get me wrong - it's great that more people are starting conversations about mental health, but that can also lead to confusion and self-doubt for some of us. This guide will help you better understand ADHD, recognize common symptoms, and map out the practical steps you can take to get more clarity, support, and a diagnosis.
What does ADHD look like?
ADHD symptoms can vary widely depending on the person, so you may not relate to everything here! But if you relate to more than half, you might have ADHD.
Attention dysregulation
Difficulty focusing
Struggling to concentrate on tasks, especially if they're boring, difficult, repetitive, or uninteresting to you
Frequently zoning out during conversations or meetings, even when someone is speaking directly to you
Easily distracted
Getting sidetracked by unrelated thoughts or external stimuli
Difficulty staying on task in busy or noisy environments
Hyperfocus
Getting so absorbed in a task or activity that you lose track of time
Obsessively focusing on something
Ignoring other people, responsibilities
Neglecting important things important for survival while hyperfocusing, like eating, drinking water, going to the bathroom, and sleeping
Frequent daydreaming
Getting lost in your thoughts and missing out on what’s happening around you, often completely unintentionally
Drifting off during important discussions or lectures
Emotional challenges
Emotional dysregulation
Struggling to manage and respond to emotions appropriately
Experiencing intense emotions that seem disproportionate to the situation or having difficulty calming down after an emotional event
Overreacting to small issues
Mood swings and irritability when overwhelmed
Sensitivity to rejection and criticism
Taking criticism very personally and reacting strongly to it
Feeling hurt or defensive when receiving feedback
Automatically assuming other people do not (or will not) like you
Avoiding any activities where you think you could be judged, criticized, or rejected
Low frustration tolerance
Becoming easily frustrated or annoyed by minor inconveniences
Having difficulty waiting for your turn in line or in conversations
Executive dysfunction
Forgetfulness
Often forgetting plans, like appointments, meetings, or deadlines
Forgetting to reply to messages and emails
Needing constant reminders for basic daily tasks
Leaving items behind or forgetting where you put them, ultimately misplacing or losing them
Poor working memory
Not being able to hold new or referencial information in your mind for long
Forgetting why you walked into a room or losing your train of thought
Struggling to remember instructions that someone just told you
Disorganization
Having a cluttered workspace, car, bedroom, and/or living space, and often feeling overwhelmed by them
Constantly losing important items
Difficulty organizing your thoughts
Poor time management
Frequently losing track of time
Often rushing and/or running late to things
Time blindness: Struggling to accurately perceive how much time has passed
Time optimism: Underestimating how long tasks will take
Difficulty prioritizing tasks
Having trouble deciding which tasks are most important
Spending too much time on minor tasks while important ones are neglected
Feeling overwhelmed by a to-do list that never seems to get shorter
Low motivation
Struggling to find the drive to start or complete tasks, even those that are important or interesting
Knowing what you need to do but not being able to muster the energy to get up and do it
Procrastination
Putting off tasks until the last minute, making you rush to complete them
Feeling overwhelmed by big projects and avoiding starting them
Trouble starting and finishing tasks
Struggling to get started on tasks and rarely finishing what you begin
Having many unfinished projects or ideas
Feeling ashamed by the mountain of unfinished projects you've accumulated
Hyperactivity
Impulsive behaviors
Making hasty decisions without considering the consequences
Frequently interrupting others or activities they're doing
Giving in to your knee-jerk emotional reactions
Fidgeting and restlessness
Feeling the need to be constantly moving or having trouble sitting still
Feeling like you want to physically do something but not being able to settle on an activity
Moving a lot while sitting or standing still, such as: tapping your foot, bouncing your leg, fidgeting, clicking your pen, drumming your fingers, etc.
How does ADHD affect you?
Consider how the above symptoms affect your daily life. Reflect on specific instances where you felt like these challenges interfered.
Work and school
Do you find it hard to stay focused during meetings, conversations, or while working on tasks?
Are you often late or miss deadlines because of disorganization or forgetfulness?
Is your desk or workspace often messy despite efforts to organize?
Relationships
Do impulsive decisions sometimes lead to conflicts or regrets in your personal relationships or friendships?
Do you frequently interrupt others during conversations?
Daily tasks
Do you tend to spend too much time on unimportant tasks, while high-priority ones are left unfinished or neglected?
Is it hard for you to find the energy to start or finish tasks, even if they're important to you?
Self-care
Do you often devalue your own self-care or avoid activities that are good for your well-being?
Do you frequently neglect your survival needs, like drinking water, getting enough sleep, or eating regular meals?
Emotional wellbeing
Are you ever surprised by how intense your emotions - and your responses to them - are?
Do the above challenges cause significant stress or anxiety?
"Everyone is a little ADHD"
As much as I hate it when people say this, it's kinda true! Let me explain...
Everyone is a little ADHD because everyone...
loses stuff sometimes.
has impulses.
forgets about stuff.
has asked themselves "why did I walk in this room?"
gets bored.
feels restless sometimes.
can get distracted.
has zoned out before.
has had a messy desk or bedroom.
struggles with motivation from time to time.
But... just because someone experiences things related to ADHD doesn't mean they have ADHD.
These are normal human experiences.
ADHD is diagnosed in a person when their symptoms persistently interfere with daily life, negatively affect their wellbeing, or significantly impact academic, work, or social functioning. The key difference is the frequency and intensity of these experiences, and the way they disrupt a person's ability to manage their day-to-day responsibilities and relationships.
I think I have ADHD. Now what?
If you suspect you have undiagnosed ADHD after reflecting on symptoms and how they affect you, you should consider taking the following steps before self-diagnosing and/or getting a formal diagnosis.
Step 1: Learn and reflect
ADHD education
The first step to getting better is always AWARENESS! The good news is that you've already started on this step by reading this blog! To improve your ADHD knowledge and become more aware of it, try to learn as much as you can about it from reliable sources. Check out my ADHD resources page for links to cool information!
Here are 2 of my ADHD resources to help you get started:
Neurodivergent lingo lexicon - a dictionary or glossary of sorts; it lists and defines a bunch of terminology used by many people with ADHD and/or autism
ADHD research database - a collection of scientific research and their abstracts; all studies are about ADHD, autism, or a related scientific topic or subtopic
Self-reflection
Reflect on specific instances where ADHD-like symptoms have made it harder for you to function effectively at work, in relationships, at home, or even online when interacting with others.
Start by writing down specific examples of when and how you struggle with these symptoms.
📒 Keeping a journal for a few weeks can help you track symptom patterns and identify your triggers.
Step 2: Consult the right professional
A licensed mental health professional can conduct a thorough evaluation and provide a diagnosis if needed. Start by searching for providers (psychologists, therapists, or psychiatrists) in your area who specialize in ADHD. My best tip here is to DO YOUR RESEARCH. Hyperfocus on it if you have to!
If you're going to try virtual therapy with a company like BetterHelp or GoodTherapy, make sure you check (and cross-check to verify their legitimacy) their testimonials page.
If you're going somewhere local and in-person, check out the doctor's Yelp, RateMDs, or ZocDoc reviews. (You can also use these tools to find a provider specializing in ADHD if you haven't yet!)
Read what others have said about the provider. Schedule an appointment when you're sure they're the one. (But if you struggle with decision-making, don't sweat it! You can also just feel them out for your first session. If you end up not liking them, you're allowed to change providers.)
The right psychologist or therapist can make all the difference, so spending more time on research upfront can save you the frustration and self-doubt later on.
How to prepare for your first appointment
Bring notes detailing your symptoms and how they impact your life. This is where your journaling can come in handy! Your notes should include: the specific symptoms that you experience (not everyone with ADHD experiences all of the same symptoms), when you've noticed them, and how they affected you or those around you.
You should also be prepared to discuss your medical history, family history, and any concerns or questions you have about ADHD.
But most importantly, RELAX. Don't spend your time worrying about if the doctor is going to "think you're faking ADHD." While this is a completely normal worry to have, it's also extremely unhelpful. All it does stress you out and make you doubt yourself which could make you downplay your ADHD symptoms when you talk to the doctor, ultimately causing ADHD to remain undiagnosed.
💊 Ready to talk to your doctor about starting ADHD medication? Here's a No B.S. Guide to help you get started.
Step 3: Seek additional support
Do you ever feel incredibly alone in your struggles? I know I have, and that's why I started What in the ADHD? Self-promo aside, I encourage you to find people you can learn from, trust, and relate to.
Talk therapy
For some, this could look like regular appointments with the doctor who made the diagnosis, or finding a local or telehealth therapist to meet with on occasion. You can chat with them about how your medication is working or seek their advice on how to handle new stressors in life.
Plus, sometimes we just need to vent! Therapists are wonderful for venting.
Social media
For others, "additional support" could come in the form of online friends and communities: TikTok, Facebook groups, Reddit, Instagram, and Twitter. It's not for everyone, though. For example, I'm not a huge fan of ADHD TikTok and ADHD Instagram. But everyone's different and we all have unique ways we connect with others!
📱 TikTok
I personally try to avoid watching TikToks related to ADHD because their algorithm is suspicious to me. (I've felt targeted by companies trying to prey on people with ADHD just because of my watch history.) But others have learned a lot from TikTok, even if it's just a place to learn new terminology that you can then research elsewhere.
👥 Facebook groups
There are loads of groups for specific sub-demographics in the ADHD community. Some are even just for fun, like meme groups! Each group has their own rules, so be sure to read them before joining and posting.
ADHD (or neurodivergent) niche support groups I found on Facebook:
Twitter has lost popularity over the past year (Thanks, Elon) but as of right now, it's still a place that holds lots of valuable information and support for ADHDers (if you follow the right accounts!)
Big and small ADHD accounts to follow on Twitter:
@WhatTheADHD (me!)
@msorlov (ADHD Marriage)
Step 4: Monitor your progress.
Regularly assess how treatment and coping strategies are working for you. You can keep notes in your journal and save them for the next time you talk to your provider. Based on your observations, they can make adjustments as needed to your treatment plan.
Step 5: Stay weird.
Embrace your chaos! You have a neurodivergent brain - be proud of it!
I know sometimes it's easier said than done, but staying comfortable in your own skin is super important for your overall mental health. Drop the mask when you don't need it and be your true, weird self around friends and others in the ADHD community.
The mental health stigma
We live in a world where it's taboo to discuss mental health and things that can affect it. Though things have gotten better over the past decade or so, we still have a long way to go. Learning and talking about mental health and ADHD is a great way to continue improving the way we view them as a society.
Overcoming embarrassment
It's normal to feel embarrassed about the possibility of having ADHD because a stigma definitely exists. It's also normal to feel awkward about seeking help and a diagnosis.
But remember...
Asking for help is a good thing: Taking steps to improve your mental health is a sign of strength and self-awareness, NOT weakness and laziness. You're not making excuses just because you need help functioning like a "normal" adult.
You're not alone: Lots of people with ADHD struggle with embarrassment, whether it's embarrassment about a specific symptom or trait or ADHD as a whole. Finding a community to talk to about these things can be super helpful.
Social media trends
While social media can sometimes trivialize ADHD, your experience is unique and valid. Focus on credible sources and personal experiences rather than trends.
Let's wrap this up
As ADHD awareness and acceptance grow on social media, it's natural to question whether these symptoms actually resonate with you. If you suspect you might have ADHD, taking proactive steps to understand and address it can lead to major improvements in different areas your life.
Start with education and self-reflection, seek professional guidance, and stay true to your weird self. Don't forget: Seeking help is a positive and courageous step towards better mental health.
About the Author
Sydni Rubio
Sydni Rubio (she/her) is an experienced writer and organic content creator with ADHD. She is passionate about neuropsychology, continued learning, mental health awareness, and accessible education. Her BSc in Biomedical Sciences and Chemistry helps her understand the latest mental health research, while her experience in teaching (as a college grad student and as a mother to her 8-year-old) gives her the ability to communicate complex information in an engaging way.
When she's not writing or hyperfocusing on website edits, you can find Sydni in a hammock under her sycamore tree or squatting in her builds during a Battle Royale match in Fortnite.
